


Stability

by AreYouReady



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Episode: s10e02 Reichenbach, Gen, M/M, Sam has noticed Cas' feelings and is concerned about them, Sam is also kind of taking out his anxiety on Cas here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:42:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28781442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AreYouReady/pseuds/AreYouReady
Summary: Sam has noticed that Cas' feelings toward Dean may be more than purely platonic. He is concerned about the stability of his family.
Relationships: (discussed; ambiguously one-sided), Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 19
Kudos: 153





	Stability

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically my reaction to Destiel fics that put Sam as ship cheerleader. But it's also because I'm interested in the unhealthy ways people treat each other under duress. Sam is essentially just treading water in the bunker from season eight onward. And his brother just tried to kill him. That's gotta stress a person out.
> 
> Also I don't remember season ten at all so if the timeline doesn't make sense, fuck off.

“So, Cas. I have a question for you,” said Sam. He was sitting, cross legged, in a chair in the main room of the bunker. Dean was asleep in his room, recovering from the demon cure. Sam had tossed Cas a beer, and in lieu of drinking it, Cas was playing with the label, seemingly devoting a huge amount of concentration to removing it without any tears.

“Yeah, Sam?” Cas didn't look up at him, but then, that wasn't unusual for Cas. 

“Cas, you were, you were human, for a while, but then you were an angel again,” Sam started.

Cas tilted his head, still looking at the beer bottle, and waited for Sam to continue.

“Do angels… feel? the same way humans do, I mean?” Sam sucked at his teeth. He wasn't sure how to broach the topic he  _ really _ wanted to tackle, but this seemed like as good a start as any.

“I was never truly human; technically I was a fallen angel. I never had a soul. I believe angels’ emotions stem from some other mechanism than humans’.”

“Oh. But uh. Was it different? When you were fallen?” 

“Somewhat. Emotions were… easier to identify.” Cas’ voice was slow, academic. “They resulted in physical sensations in my vessel which I could discern more easily than the emotions causing them. However, they were often intensified by physical conditions, such as hunger or exhaustion, which was very confusing.”

“Huh!”  _ That’s actually pretty interesting. _ But it wasn't the point of this conversation. Sam steeled himself. “What about, like, feelings  _ for _ other people?” 

“What do you mean? Wait. Are you trying to discuss sex with me?” Cas finally looked up at him. “This seems to be a very common topic of conversation among humans, especially males, and whenever Dean tries to discuss it with me, he does so with a level of bravado that suggests discomfort. You seem uncomfortable now. Is it because you are trying to discuss sex?”

Sam winced. Cas sounded so proud of himself for deducing that. He wasn't exactly wrong, but he was wrong enough.

“No, Cas,” Sam sighed.

“Oh.” Cas was obviously disappointed. He looked back at his beer bottle. The label was nearly halfway off, now, without a single tear.

“Cas,” Sam took a deep breath, preparing to finally take the plunge, “What is Dean? To you?”

Cas froze. He put the beer bottle down on the table, and looked back up at Sam.

“He is my friend.” Cas stared at Sam, unflinching.

“Yeah. But Cas, is there… What do you want from him?”

Cas tilted his head.

“I hope I can be allowed to have his friendship, and his company. I try to be worthy of his trust and loyalty, as well.”

“Yeah. Yeah. But do you want anything… more than that?” Sam’s hand tugged of its own accord at the back of his neck.

“I don't-”

“Cas, are you in love with him?”

There it was, blunt and out in the open, in terms even Cas couldn't misunderstand.  _ Are you in love with him.  _ Sam had, only a few days ago, seen Cas give up an entire army for Dean. Sam would have done the same, but, well, Dean was his brother. Sam had never known what Dean was to Cas, but whatever it was, it was something worth ruining his own life for over, and over, and over again.  _ I did it, all of it, for you.  _ Something like that could build resentment in a person. Or an angel. Worse, he might think there was more between him and Dean than there was.  _ Dean and I have a more profound bond. _ If he was hoping to get something from Dean… 

Cas looked away from Sam and did not speak. It was as good as an answer. Cas had always been a terrible liar, and he knew it. 

“Are you planning to do anything about it?” Sam wondered if the anxiety was obvious in his voice.

“‘Do anything’?”

“Tell him, I mean.” Sam clarified. 

“No, Sam. I am not stupid.” Cas sounded annoyed.

“Good. Don't.” Losing Cas as a friend would crush Dean, and Dean wouldn't be able to stay close to him after a revelation like that. Even if he could, Sam had no idea how Cas would handle rejection. He might leave of his own volition, which would crush Dean even more. Or he might react poorly.  _ You will bow down and profess your love unto me your lord.  _ Sam shivered. 

He had no idea what would happen, only that it would be bad. That it would shatter their little three person family unit. That it would shatter Dean, particularly.

Cas nodded at Sam. Then he ripped the rest of the label off his beer, roughly, leaving several torn bits still stuck to the adhesive. He hadn't even opened the bottle.

Sam pushed himself away from the table. He'd finished his own beer, and Cas didn't seem to be in the mood for conversation anymore.

Sam had put his bottle in the recycling box, and was almost out of the room, when Cas called to him.

“Sam?”

“Yeah?” Sam turned, and met Cas’ eyes.

“I trust you.” Sam couldn't tell if Cas meant  _ I trust you to keep my secret safe,  _ or  _ I trust your judgment on this issue,  _ or  _ I trust you, why can't you trust me too.  _ Maybe he meant all three.

“Yeah.”


End file.
